so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just google imaged poop.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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