your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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