I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
