he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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