2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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