just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
