I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
