it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
