is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
