As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
