I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
