just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
