she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
