i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just gift wrapped bread.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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