I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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