talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
