Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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