Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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