Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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