Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
