I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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