Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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