All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
