After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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