On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
