Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
