woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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