I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize