allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
