Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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