We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
