ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
