guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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