I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
