was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
