her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
