Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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