hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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