I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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