i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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