Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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