return my video game
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
