I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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