I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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