ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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