yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
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Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
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it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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