Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
