Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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