i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
