Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
