There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
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How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
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I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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