dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
