i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize