they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
