just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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