Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
