Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
