This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
