who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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