Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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