Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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