There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
