five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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