Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
