I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
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Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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